[Hallicrafters] Join Sunday Halli 20 Meter Net


Duane Fischer, W8DBF dfischer at usol.com
Sun Feb 19 10:46:09 EST 2012



Please drift on in and join us today, Sunday February 19th., for the
Halligan's Hallicrafters International 20 meter Net. HHI = Halligan's
Hallicrafters International, the official registered Club name. But we
normally just call it the Halli or Hallicrafters net.

Time: Starting at 12:30 - 2:00 PM EST/EDT or 1730 - 1900 UTC.

Frequency: Still, and forever+ one day, 14.293 MHZ USB +/- for Key Clicks,
Mike Splatter and kidney stone rumbling ruminations! Gall stones are another
issue!

Below is something I wrote nine years ago for President's Day. It was
amusing then, hopefully it still is!


Yo Humans!

It is I. Frogzilla. I come bearing bad tidings of great joy.
So stop stuffing your chubby cheeks with that sea food from a
fast fat roll place poisoned by preservatives used by the
ancient Egyptians to preserve their dead Kings and pets, and
listen up! And that goes for you vegetarians stuffing down
the buttered squash and blanched lima beans too! If you think
that diet is going to keep you from getting more wrinkles
than a sun dried California prune, think again! What you will
get is the look of an over pruned Philodendron with too
little water and way too much chlorophyll! Croak!

I am working my webbed toes off trying to defrost the blind
dude who got unusually stupid, thought he was a hearty Norse
Arctic explorer and ventured out in a howling blizzard on a
quest to get his daily dose of junk mail. Well, at least that
is what his family thought.

Actually, his Braille edition of Playboy was delivered and he
was determined to retrieve it before the snow, sleet or
thieving neighborhood teenage boys destroyed the magazine. A
noble, but incredibly dumb gesture.  He made it out to
the mailbox, a distance of eighty-five feet, or twenty-six
meters for the normal math impaired, and was half way back
when he froze up solid in mid stride like a piston rod in a
four cycle snow blower engine that somebody forgot to put oil
in! We found him face down in the swirling snow stiffer than
an over starched bra with that patented goofy smirk of his
frozen on his lips. His White Cane was impaled in a snow
drift like a flag pole planted by explorers claiming the
North Pole for Santa Claus. There was enough frost on his
tinted shades to keep Jack Frost busy etching designs for two
decades!

Oh yes. Let me add this lest somebody out there in Ham Land
is wondering how some dude who is totally blind enjoys a
Playboy magazine and starts shouting that the blind wonder is
a fake!  Back in the seventies the Congress approved federal
funding for the conversion of Playboy magazine into a Braille
version.  What about the famous Playboy centerfold or those
other provocative photos?  A let your fingers do the walking
tactile version? Heck no! The blind get only the text, no
photos!  Now if Congress granted federal tax dollars to
produce an equal opportunity version of Playboy that the
blind could enjoy, does it not seem discriminatory to deprive
them of the graphics said magazine is famous for?  Hey! The
technology exists to convert photographic images into
thermoform raised line reproductions or even 'talking'
tactile drawings! So if Congress is going to spend our tax
dollars to provide 'equal opportunities' for the handicapped,
then why not include the best part of the Playboy magazine,
the photos of the chicks!  Sort of like inviting a blind
friend over for breakfast when you are having Rice Crispies.
You don't want the blind guy slopping milk on your clean
tablecloth, so you don't give him a spoon to eat with! You
just let him sit there and listen to the "Snap, Crackle and
Pop!"

Think about this. Who do you know that actually reads the
articles published in Playboy magazine? The only people
reading those articles are blind males who are sick of
Readers Digest and Newsweek!

I was about to crack the Double Bubble gum seal on his Last
Will And Testament, when the paramedics announced he still
had a pulse. I really wanted to know if he willed me the frog
pond or if I was going to have to become a real estate
agent and swindle his relatives out of it. Besides his
grandson Brandon was threatening to carve me into frog
fillets with his Swiss army knife and boil my green hide in a
Long John Slivers deep fryer filled with used motor oil.

If they can get the blind dude defrosted in time, the
Saturday February 22nd HHI 40 meter Net will commence with
the pre-Net at 12:30 PM EST, (1730 UTC). The Net proper at
1:00 PM EST, (1800 UTC). If you can't read a watch, get
creative, call the local number to get the time on your
landline! Croak! The frequency will be 7.280 Mhz lsb and I
don't give a Lizard's rump scales if I have to key the mike
myself and sing Happy Birthday to old George Washington in
frog part harmony. That is enough to curdle the water in any
swamp and if the humans squatting on the frequency don't get
the hint to move, I will fire up this big linear amplifier
under the operating desk and blow the front end out of their
solid state rice roasters! Keeping in mind that most of these
new Hams don't have a clue how to operate their new solid
state sets with dozens of multiple function knobs and even
more double or triple function push buttons! So they will
probably have the RF gain cranked wide open, the Nose Blanker
set too high, the RX Pre-Amp switched on and could get the
front end of their new transceiver blown out by a flea
powered station two states away! CROAK!

Remember: Today is February 22nd and it is Founding Father
and former President, George Washington's birthday! Oh yes,
February 12th was President Abraham Lincoln's birthdday too!
Let us not forget our other February legends; such as the
infamous Groundhog Phil in PA and Cupid the dude in a
modified loin cloth who shoots lovers to be in the ass,
OOPS!, make that rump! With tiny arrows dipped in his
centuries old love potion. Wasn't President Ronald R. born in
February also? In any event, I much prefer NOT celebrating
all the Presidents on one single day! I mean get real! One of
them was so chubby that he got stuck in his bathtub and had
to bring in the local fire department guys to extract him!
Another named Filmore ... Who? Then one named Johnson - NO
not the one that was Vice-President on November 22, 1963 and
took over for the assassinated J.F.K.! This Andrew Johnson
took over for the first President to be assassinated in the
United States, Abraham Lincoln. He was also the only
President to be more or less kicked out of office! All the
others resigned! CROAK! Then we have good old Teddy
Roosevelt, a cousin to FDR, who actually put on a military
Tuxedo and fought the Spanish in Cuba! Who can forget Andrew
Jackson who abolished the Bank Of The United States! His
administration was also the ONLY one to ever have a budget
balance when he left office that was NOT in the red! We had
another guy who was so shy that he turned his back when the
Thanksgiving turkey was being dressed! Or how about the one
who died before his tailors got his presidential dress suit
altered! The one man I personally believe who should have
been our President, but never ran, was Benjamin Franklin. You
 have to respect any human who is courageous enough to fly a
paper kite in a thunderstorn with a metal key attached to the
end of the string! Now how could string, twine or whatever
non-conductive material that was used to control that kite
conduct lightning to said metal key? Hmmm. More on that
another time!

So join us, if you can, and we will have some fun helping old
George eat his English crumb cake topped with cherries from
the tree he chopped down, wash it down with some White
Lightning from those hills of Tennessee and let Bill
Halligan, Sr. know that he may be gone from the third rock
from old Sol, but he ain't forgotten! Croak!

Speaking of White Lightning. George Washington had the
biggest and best stills anywhere in the thirteen colonies!
He produced something like fourteen thousand gallons of
whiskey each year. He was the biggest distributor of farm
fresh whiskey of anyone in the colonies! No wonder he and
Martha were on the top of the "Who To Party With" list!

And if the USAF needs some hot missles to cool down that
dude in Iraq with bad gas, and a worse attitude, we've got
hundreds of these flaming candles to dispose of somewhere
anyhow!  Guaranteed to give any Camel a hot hump! Croak!


Frogzilla


By, Duane B. Fischer, W8DBF
Copyright: The Sixth Dimension Of Magic. February 2003.
Original: February 22, 2003  George Washington's birthday!

Duane Fischer, W8DBF - WPE8CXO
E-Mail: dfischer at usol.com
Hallicrafters web site: www.w9wze.net
HHRP web site: hhrp.w9wze.net



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